there is something in the pain, so beautiful (part two)

The title of my previous post, the same as this one, was a very resent discovery for which I had no explanation.  Well it just so happened I was provided with hours of physical pain last month and while I lay on my back lanai holding my poor poor thumb, I could only think, "Why is the grass so crisp and the motion of the trees so graceful?"  I'd think on it, read some Anna Karinina, and think on it again, get some more ice, think about taking a good look at the damage and cowardly turn back to my novel.  In one of these turns I realized: it is the heightened awareness that makes everything so beautiful.  I've even noticed the seemingly unrealistic beauty when in emotional pain.  There is something in the pain, so so beautiful.  It distracts me. It comforts me...and even thrills me.  I like seeing with pain-enhanced vision.  I mean to say, if I have pain and there's no escaping it, bring on the beauty!

there's something in the pain, so beautiful (part one)

I just want to get to that point in my life where it is said of me..."and they lived happily ever after."  Though it sounds childish and unrealistic, I hold my breath for such a moment. Just let me get myself set up. Once I have momentum, once I can leave the muck and mire behind.... But really I know life will continue to try to fall apart on me. Humpty-Dumpty...do we really have to sing it again?  Life seems fragile and always breaking, and no matter how I try I can never make it as it was before.  My life is made of broken glass, painful shards one after another and the only consolation is the beauty.
In my panic it feels all coarse and ugly.  But when I relent, I see the light shining through me...and beauty all around.